


Learning

by Ayame_Ryuukaru



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Kylo Ren, Emotions Analysis, F/M, Reader is Assassin, Redeemed Ben Solo, leia is sassy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-01 09:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayame_Ryuukaru/pseuds/Ayame_Ryuukaru
Summary: Kylo Ren has left the First Order. He knew his path now, but after some meddling from his mother, he has to learn how to work with others.





	1. My Big Mouth

_Chapter One: My Big_ _Mouth_

It wasn’t that he was angry, but rather it was because he was confused. His frustration was over his confusion. He thought that fulfilling his grandfather’s legacy would bring peace and rid the galaxy of corruption, power-hungry people, yet it didn’t. He was hurting and in this hurt, it shows that he was only human.

You sat back full against your ship as you watched the male. He was tall, so much taller than most people here. His hair was black, as black as the universe of space. His eyes were the most interesting aspect of his person. They were brown with specks of gold and green in them. They also contained his emotions.

Since he turned himself into the Resistance, he had taken off his helmet to be barren to the others around him. Despite being able to conceal his facial expressions, just watching his eyes, anyone could tell how he was feeling.

“He’s sad.” You whipped your head around to look at General Organa.

“I know, ma’am.” She turned to look at you.

“I forgot how well you can read people, L/N.” You gave her a soft smile before going back to watch the other man.

He was currently standing next to Luke Skywalker and his two apprentices, Rey and Finn. BB-8 was leaning against Rey’s leg while Poe was tinkering around near his ship.

“I wish there was a way to take away that sadness.” Leia said softly.

“There is a way to stop some of it, but it is not easy considering how people view him.” She turned fully to you.

“What are you thinking?” Her tone was hopefully, something that has always been the backbone of the Resistance.

“He needs someone who won’t judge him for his past crimes, but at the same time, not take any of his shit.” You met her eyes before flushing softly.

“I know just the person.” She gave you a grateful smile before walking away.

It was later that same day when you were called into the General’s office. You had finished the last of your duties for the night when you were haled. You weren’t too surprised over her calling for you, since usually she was the one who sent you on dangerous solo missions.

As you walked in, you saw Ren, no Ben Solo, standing in front of his mother. The said woman was smiling. That smile made a shiver run down your spine. Dammit.

“Think of this as a learning exercise, Ben.” The man scoffed at his mother. “You need to learn how to act and how to cooperate with others on this base.” Another scoff.

“If I may, ma’am, I am not the best person for this.” You tried to argue.

“In all actuality, L/N, you are. Despite constantly siding with the shadows, you know how to interact with others, how to help, and how to see.” Your hand rubbed the back of your neck.

“I’m an assassin, ma’am. My only strong points are gathering intel and killing people, nothing more.” Your simple statement made Solo turn his head to you.

You could see it in his eyes, the mild intrigue. Odd, in your opinion.

“Just give it a try, you two.” She placed her hand on her hips while looking between you and Solo.

“Yes, ma’am.” You bowed your head before turning to the very tall male.

“Tomorrow morning after your session with Master Skywalker, meet me by the lake.” You said softly before turning on your heel and walking out of the room.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so much of a bad idea, but who knows, he might just Force-choke you in the first twenty seconds.


	2. New Territories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Testing the waters is never easy.

_Chapter Two: New Territories_

 

You didn’t sleep for shit last night. It didn’t show to others, but Master Luke saw through your passive look when he walked by you earlier. He was always awake just before dawn, so it was no surprise he was next to you while the sun came up.

“Thank you, L/N, for helping Ben.” You turned your gaze to his.

“Don’t thank me yet, Master Luke. Wait till we have some sort of result.” A smile, though small overcame the tired Jedi’s face.

“I believe there is already progress that you have not seen yet.” You stared at him.

“Are you looking into the Force?” His smile grew even more before he walked away.

“This will be an experience that will be good for the both of you.” He called over his shoulder.

That conversation was some time ago, but it still stuck in your head. The rustle of the wind through the leaves drew you from your thoughts. The only learning that you could get from this was probably how to survive from a lightsaber in the chest.

A sudden loud crunch made you turn your head to your left. There making their way to you was Ben Solo and he looked downright murderous.

“Do not destroy the plant life.” You called over to him. He jerked his head up at your voice before scowling darkly at you.

“Of all places you could ask to meet, you chose a secluded area.” He growled out at you.

“It’s because in case your anger seeps out, people will not be hurt.” You countered.

“You honestly think you could escape if that happens?”

“Nope, but one dead assassin is nothing compared to dozens of people being hurt.” He looked confused at your honest statement.

“My mother speaks highly of you. Why is that?” At first, he stood in the darkness of the forest before walking slowly to your side. You went back to the scenery in front of you as if not watching him.

You didn't say anything to him, but you waited till he sat next to you, though quietly, as if not to disturb you. This behavior he was showing, meant he was unsure how to act around you. This was nothing new since he was rather shy around people once he got close to them, but if he had distance, he was fine.

“I don’t take bullshit and I’d rather put my life on the line than someone else.”

“That is not an answer.” You turned and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Killing is all I have known; General Organa knows this. That is why she asked me to help her.” You flopped onto your back before looking at the sky.

“Yet the Dark Side doesn’t filter off of you.” His confusion was becoming more evident with each word.

“I have accepted what I am and what I do. I follow my own path, and that is bringing some sort of peace. If I die before the First Order ends, I won’t mind. I know I’ve done something right, for once.” You felt your eyes slip close as another gust of wind drifted across your body.

He remained quiet at that admission. Solo was obviously processing what you were saying since his gaze was unfocused. Hearing something like that was not something to disregard. The open thought of dying and being alright with it, it would make most people ponder the idea.

“My mother said you were to ‘teach’ me, what does that pertain to?” You turned your head to look at him.

“Exactly this. People are scared and wary of you, but only someone who understands knows can give guidance. Plus, in all honesty, I don’t think you are going to tolerate the girl or former trooper.” A small smirk appeared on his lips. “You also never didn’t anything personally offensive to myself, so I’m less likely going to try and kill you.”

“You could try.” You barked out a laugh at him.

“I’ve killed a lot of people who have said the same thing. Each and every one of them realized their mistake with their very last breath. Just because you can use the Force and wield an ancient sword, it doesn’t make you stronger, just slightly more prepared.” You didn’t need to look at him to know he was annoyed now.

“You are very cocky with your words.” You smirked at that.

“I’m just me.” Placing your hands behind your head, you back rolled onto your feet. “Now for the real lesson.”

You had walked to the edge of the forest before turning to see Solo hadn’t moved an inch. Instead, he was glaring right at you.

“Chop chop, Solo, time is wasting.” Once again you were moving forward, the only indicator that Solo was following you was his heavy footsteps.

Like a kid who didn’t want to go anywhere, he stomped his feet after you. The smile that graced your face would have pissed him off even more if he could see it.


	3. Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once you see the picture, you begin to realize.

_Chapter Three: Understand_

The two of you reemerged into the base area. The whole time felt the heavy stare of Solo. He was obviously intrigued with your attitude and the way you act, but hopefully, because he was with you, others will begin to see how human he really was.

The first place you went to was to the Quartermaster or a.k.a the supplier. His name was Rex Maryer and he was in charge of making sure the based had supplies from other allied planets or through the black market, he was a good guy though.

“Hey, Rex.” He nodded his head in your direction but gave Solo a dark look. “Solo, this is Rex. He’s out supplier and your first lesson is to cooperate with him.”

“Hopefully you know your materials, got a lot of customers, boy.” Rex’s deep and gruff voice made Solo tense.

“Depends on what it is.” Ben gave an even more gruff reply.

“Right now the base is in low supply of durasteel. We need that stuff for our ships and doors.” The Quartermaster gave Solo a datapad detailing the item and what ship it should be on.

“So lesson one, no using the Force.” Your eyes met Solo’s. “This particular lesson is over learning how to do things without using your power, it was Master Luke’s idea.”

So started the standoff between you and Solo. You merely crossed your arms over your chest while giving him a blank, passive stare complete with a raised eyebrow. Solo just scowled at you before marching over to the ship that was patiently waiting for its unload.

“I don’t know how you did it, but you are good.” You turned to Rex and gave him a cheeky grin before walking over to Solo. There you helped him unload.

It didn’t take you two long to unload the ship, maybe about forty or so minutes, but in that time, you felt sweat collecting on your lower back and in your cleavage. He wasn’t fairing too well either, dictated by the flush on his cheeks and some sweat beading on his forehead.

“Good work, the both of you.” Rex started once he checked the goods.

You nodded before turning on your heel to walk towards the barracks. Solo followed after you.

“What was that lesson?” He grumbled through his sleeve while he wiped his face.

“Humility and cooperation.” You said while rolling your stiff shoulders. “I noticed that once you got over the fact someone was asking you to do something, you had no problem working with them after that.”

“I have little choice in the matter.” You turned and gave him a glare.

The dark look actually made him step back in mild shock. Solo was obviously not expecting for you to turn angry at him.

“This is not against your will, but rather to get you assimilated back into a culture where people can start to understand you. If you object to this, just tell me so, I will let the General know.” You crossed your arms are you waited for him to respond.

“My mother will be disappointed that you called off whatever this is.” He looked away from you.

“Yea, a little, but at the same time, she will understand. I might not know what life with the First Order is like, but I can tell you that people will help you if you let them.” You said softly before turning back around. “You aren’t a bad person, just someone who was taken advantage of. Take a shower or something, I have nothing else planned for you today.”

You walked away feeling a little hurt. While you understand his approach on these ‘lessons’, you had hoped he understood that the fear that people felt of him was hindering the progress against the First Order.

Ben watched as you walked away from him. He knew you were right, but at the same time, he couldn’t bring it upon himself to actually admit it. For years he preferred others to fear him. Having someone trying to help him was a new and foreign concept, something he was partially afraid of. Sighing, he left to his own room, not only to bathe the sweat off of him but to meditate. He needed a clear mind in order to figure out whether or not he wanted to accept your help.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look inside to find the meanings.

_Chapter Four: Reflection_

The hot water was refreshing against your body. The heavy lifting was not your thing, and it never will be. Gritting your teeth, you laid your head on the tile. Guilt swarmed your senses heavily, like a curtain keeping the sunlight out. The look on his face, it broke your heart. You didn’t mean to be so rude to him, but you had to make your point known.

You knew what it was like not having friends or people to rely on. It was your profession that often caused people to give you wary looks or the whispers of fear. You were good at killing, death was a constant companion, but at the same time, you knew that if there was a way to help Solo, you were the one to do so.

No offense to Rey or Finn, but they were too wrapped up in their own images to realize how much Solo was like them. Despite being born with a different background, the dark-side wielder too felt the pain of being alone or being forced to do things he didn’t want to. Yet, to Finn and Rey, they couldn’t overlook his past transgression to give him a chance.

Sighing, you turned off the water and stepped out. In the fog of the steam, you saw yourself as blurry in the mirror. There were scars littering your skin, each with a story that was almost too painful to recant. There were bruises still visible on your arms and ribs from the last mission you had gone on. Sighing again, you quickly dried off and began to dress.

“You’re contemplating something.” Solo looked up and over to Luke who was watching him.

“It’s nothing.” The younger male grumbled as he watched the ships fly to and from the base.

“It’s about Y/n, isn’t it?”

“You know it is.” Luke sighed before sitting next to his nephew.

“Leia has complete trust and faith in Y/n, not because of her ability in seeing the good in people, but rather she feels bad for the girl. Y/n has overcome a lot of odds in her life here, and that is why she was asked to help you. Give her a chance.” Ben merely raised an eyebrow at his uncle.

“She’s too snarky.”

“That makes this even better, Ben. Little do you know that she has already begun to help you.” With a parting pat, Luke stood up and began to walk away.

Lying back, Solo watched the clouds drift across the sky. He knew his uncle was right, as much as he hated it. He knew that the girl was already changing him, not by her words or actions, but rather the fact she knows what he is living through. Tomorrow, if she shows, he would apologize to her. He felt her sadness from his room, halfway across the base.


	5. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to others helps more than being by yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of my longest chapter yet, but it might be one of my favorites. I'm glad you all are enjoying this fic, and I am glad to write it. As you can tell I have a deep love for Ben Solo/Kylo Ren. He is a wonderful character. <3

_Chapter Five: Comfort_

__“Ma’am?” You looked over your shoulder to see Finn staring right at you.

“Can I help you?” Your voice was soft as if not to spook the male.

“Sorry to bother you, but I have a question for you.” Finn shifted on his feet before looking you straight in the eyes.

“Go ahead.” You leaned against the set of crates behind you as you watched the former trooper.

He was nervous that was sure. You could tell not just by his fidgeting, but rather how dilated his pupils were. His body was in fight or flight mode, thus making him anxious and somewhat scared.

“Are you thinking of continuing with these lessons with Ren?” He blurted out his question only to wince at how rude it sounded.

“One, it is none of your concern. Two, please refrain from calling him Ren, Kylo or anything associated to those. Three, while I understand your fear for my being, I can handle my own, but do not mistake that I cannot handle myself.” Anger was rising in your body.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that he is dangerous.”

“I am well aware, but so are you, so is Master Luke, and even your friend, the girl. Yet do I judge you or them? No, I learn from my interactions, do not presume or assume, but rather, take this as an opportunity to grow from the past to look for a stronger future.” You gritted out before pushing off of the crates and marching out of the hangar bay.

To your right, in the shadows was Solo. His face was frozen in shock. He had heard everything, rolling your eyes, you continued out of the hangar to go to your little area of solace, near the lake. There you could control your emotions and properly assess your thoughts.

The sun went from a little more than over half way to nearly over the horizon before nearly dipping past the trees. You had been laying on the grass for hours and in that time, you had calmed down, and came to the conclusion that Finn, Rey and everyone else needed to fuck off. Not just because of their hatred to Solo, but that they needed to realize that allies were heavily needed against the First Order.

Sighing, you rolled to your feet. You needed to get back to the base before General Organa decided to send out a patrol to find you. More than likely Finn told Luke who told his sister of the incident, but there was nothing that you could do about it. Gritting your teeth, you started the fifteen-minute walk back to base.

As you finally stood on the asphalt, you saw General Organa looking right at you. She didn’t look mad, but rather worried. Walking over to her, you stood at parade rest as if waiting for a scolding from her. Instead, she merely smiled at you before patting your shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. Luke handled everything.” Your shoulders dropped slightly. “Also, go see Ben, he’s been upset since earlier.”

“I’m sorry.” Leia merely smiled at you.

“It’s alright. Ben is in his room, just go speak to him for a little bit.” She patted your hand before walking away.

Shaking your head, you did what she asked. Your feet went towards the dark knight’s room. Putting your hands in your jacket pockets, you looked forward, ignoring everyone. Each were staring at you; each were silently making a judgment that they had no right to make.

Stopping outside of his room, you raised your hand to knock, but the door just opened on its own. Rolling your eyes at his antics, you entered into the semi-dark space.

“You were angry.” Solo said.

“I was, but now I’m not.” You leaned on the wall next to the door as you observed him.

“You should still be, for what he was implying about yourself.” His brown eyes were filled with so many emotions.

“I’d rather not dwell on it. If anything, maybe he will think before he says something that stupid again.” You were going for a funny retort, but it didn’t really come out right.

“Their thoughts about you are even worse.” He looked down at his knees.

You could tell he had been reading the minds of the people on the base. You weren’t mad at him for it, but at the same time, you wished he didn’t do that. It just made him feel worse and less than human from it.

“That doesn’t bother me. The only opinion that matters is my own and General Organa’s.” Sighing, you walked over to him and sat next to him on the couch. “Don’t worry about it. I’m a big girl who has dealt with worse.”

“Your image…”

“Means absolutely shit to me personally. I kill people because it needs to be done. I’m an outsider, just as you are. So why not just let them fuck their minds up and show them we can be decent people?” Your eyes met his and you could tell he was contemplating it.

“Deal.” He said softly before leaning back against the couch.

“One thing though, if you come across any thoughts that are negative towards me, your mother or anyone else you care for, don’t kill, maim or strangle the person. I’d rather not have to confine you to an eight by eight cell.” There blossoming on his face was a smirk, though light, it was present.

“Can I at least terrorize them?” You let out a laugh.

“We’ll see. Tomorrow, you and I are going to have a new lesson, one that might benefit both of us.” You stood up, but he stopped you with a hand on your wrist.

You turned your head to look at him. He had a flush over his face and look embarrassed.

“Thank you.” He said it so softly that you almost missed it.

“Your welcome. Remember, you are not alone.” With that he relinquished his grip of you letting you leave his room with a parting good night and smile.

You left him blushing like a tomato but in better spirits. That left a warm sensation in your heart, something you were going to cherish for a long time.


	6. Lesson Number Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What you see is different from what you have learned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie Dokie then, so I am sorry for the huuuge delay. I completely forgot I had this chapter ready to go as of June. Totally my fault, and I apologize. Thank you all for the kudos, comments and well reading this story. Love you guys lots!

_**Chapter Six: Lesson Number Three** _

__

It had been four days since you had last seen Solo. In the morning after your little altercation with Finn, you were summoned to the command center and sent off world to capture a First Order officer. Rolling your eyes, you took in the sight of the glaring man in front of you. He was not only pissed, but also visibly wounded.

This officer had put up quite the fight, leaving both of you with injuries that were still stinging. However, you came out as the victor with one hell of a haymaker to the man’s temple. Once you had him knocked out, you tied him up and transported him to your ship. There you dumped him in the cockpit with yourself so he could not escape and you could keep an eye on him.

“I hope you realize that once we touch down, your life is forfeit. If you have anything of use, you better say so now.” You said, trying to be reasonable, but instead he merely glared at you before turning up his nose. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Steering the ship to the landing pad, you quickly shut the old girl down before standing. Opening the hatch, a few soldiers swarmed the ship ready to take the prisoner. Letting them do their business, you walked out into the bright sunshine only to see Solo standing off to the side.

You gave him a wave which he returned with a nod. He looked okay from the distance, but you could tell from how tense his shoulders were, that he was concerned. Turning to your left, you saw Master Luke and the General making their way to you. Gritting your teeth, you stood tall despite the pain that was riddling your body.

“General, Master Luke.” You gave a small bow to them before straightening.

“By the stars, what happened?” Leia moved the collar of your jacket to a very visible scratch that had reopened when she moved the leather from your skin.

“Seems that our new found friend is proficient with knife-play.” You said, shrugging the leather to cover the wound.

“Go to the med-bay, hand in your report _after_ you get the clear to leave.” Despite the order, the concern that was in her eyes made you smile despite your injuries.

“Yes ma’am. By your leave, General.” She nodded which you bowed again before turning on your heel and marching to the medical cabin. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Solo detaching himself from the shadows to follow you.

“Four broken ribs, a fractured wrist, three lacerations around your neck and my personal favorite, a fractured pinky toe; what in the high heavens did you fight? A TaunTaun?” A snarl overcame your face at the doctor’s snide remarks.

The man actually took a step back in fear as you were held back by Solo. The nurse that was accompanying him clutched her holopad as she watched from against the cabinet.

“Either discharge her or get out.” Solo turned his gaze to the doctor while still holding you back.

“R-riight. You will be put on administrative rest until y-your ribs are healed.” The man quickly typed what was needed before signing the holopad and giving it to Solo before fleeing the room.

The nurse had better sense than the doctor and quickly went about the room, getting bacta patches and gauze for your numerous wounds. Seeing that you weren’t about to pummel someone, Solo gently let you go.

“If I ever see him again, he will be begging for mercy.” You growled out as the pull of your ribs made you straighten your back.

“I have no doubt, but for now, let them work.” The nurse turned around with the items needed to begin the process.

After about an hour and a half for being poked, prodded and your absolutely _favorite_ thing, taped up, you were in front of Leia, completely radiating murderous intent. The elder woman tried to hide her amusement, but she couldn’t. The doctor, some big shot from another base, had sent her an email detailing what had transpired and begged for no repercussions against him. Yet, just looking at you, she knew that you were going to do your best to make that idiot squirm in terror.

“Take this time to relax, Y/N. I’ve been overworking you and you need the rest.” Your E/C darkened into a different hue before you sighed softly. “Also, don’t kill the idiot, that also means you too, Ben. I understand he overstepped his boundaries, by a lot, but for right now, let him stew in fear before you decide to terrorize him.” A lot of people thought the General was all sunshine and rainbows, but you knew better, the General was actually quite vicious when she needed to be.

“Yes ma’am.” You nodded your head but winced when you felt the newly patched skin under your ear pull.

“Right, off you go, you two.” Bowing, you and Solo left her rooms.

“I can see where you get your streak from, Solo.” You commented dryly.

“I like to think it's genetic.” Ben replied from your left.

“It probably is. From what I read for them excavated ruins of the old temple, your grandfather was rather _creative_ with his revenges.” A small smirk appeared on the taller male’s face. “I’m going to go pass out for hopefully the next sixteen hours. You know where to find me in case you need anything.”

You turned and observed your ‘student’. Even though he had seen you in one of your classic black moods, he seemed to enjoy your anger.

“I doubt you will even be conscious enough if I did require your assistance for anything, let alone to move.” The sass that he spoke with made a toothy grin sweep across your face.

“You’d be surprised, I might not be a Jedi or a Sith Lady, but I know how to harness pain into being productive. Lesson number three, strength isn’t from physical or mental attributes, but rather how you apply what you have learned and gained.” You said before continuing to walk to your room.

Behind you, Solo bit back a smile before he made his way to his Uncle’s room.

 


	7. Lesson Number Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smiles and laughs are the best.

_Chapter Four: Lesson Four_

You had slept for more than sixteen hours. When you fully and truly woke up, you found out you slept for a full day. You were a little surprised that no one came to wake you up, but at the same time you were glad so. Gingerly stretching, you felt all of your aches and pains pulsating with life and vigor, something that you didn’t need at the moment. Groaning, you rolled out of bed and padded over to your shower in hopes of cleaning the chemical smell of bacta and blood from your body.

When you finally got out, some thirty minutes later, there was a beep from your table. Not caring that you didn’t put on clothing, you picked up the holopad to see you had several messages. Yet they weren’t important, just updates concerning the base and security rotations. Rolling your eyes, you threw the device onto your bed before walking to your closet. You didn’t even get two steps before there was knocking on your door.

“Someone better be dying or a new Starkiller being built.” You yelled as you walked to the door.

“I would not surprise me if Hux was trying to build a new base similar to Starkiller.” You froze at the sound of Solo’s voice.

“Give me a minute, I just got out of the shower.” You called out before limping to the closet.

You got dressed as fast as you could since your injuries were still healing. You forewent some clothing, underwear and socks, just so you could let Solo in. You didn’t want to make him feel weird for waiting for you.

“Sorry,” you said as you opened the door for him. “Not that I don’t appreciate your company, but what brings you to my dark and scary home?” You moved back so he could enter.

“My mother wanted to make sure you were still in the world of the living.” He noticed the ~~major~~ minor chaos that was your room.

You had clothing all of the place as well as weapons, holo-pads, and holo-books. One of your seven pairs of boots were hanging off your bookcase while one of your shirts was on the coffee table. You didn’t even blush as you closed the door after him.

“I’ve been busy.” You stated while walking back to your closet to retrieve another set of boots.

“I can tell.” He noted dryly as he moved one of your holo-books. “ _Laws and Rules of Nabooian History?_ ”

“I had an assignment in Naboo last year. It was to kill a First Order ambassador.” You called over your shoulder as you wiggled into a clean jacket.

“I remember hearing the report. You slit that man’s throat and killed several of his guards while not being detected.” Solo raised an eyebrow at your shrugged arms.

“I’m an assassin. It’s what I do.” You bent down to place a dagger in your boot without lacing it.

“I’m aware, yet I believe one of your most memorable killings was on Bespin.” Solo had a look of curiosity on his face.

“How’d you know it was me?” You placed your hands on your hips.

“There was a profile made about you. Not you directly, but motives, possible personalities and hits. However, your hit list seemed to stop at random. Why?” With a wave of your hand, you motioned for Solo to follow you.

“Let me get something to eat before I give you the nitty-gritty details. You did tell your mom about my possible profile, right?” You locked the door behind you as you both exited.

“Correct, as much as I hate divulging information, it was the least that I could give up for my life.” His words spun in your head.

After lunch, the two of you walked, well you limped, to the lake. As you had promised, you were going to tell him about why you suddenly stopped with the assassinations. You plopped down on the grass while Solo sat on a rock next to you.

“It wasn’t my choice to depart from the eliminations, it was between General Organa and Master Luke. They believed that after the mess of Bespin and the issue on Kashyyk, it was better I continued to work as an intel officer instead.” You stretched out onto your back.

“The designated overseer of Kashyyk, he did not die.” You merely nodded your head.

“I know, I failed to kill him because I got too caught up in the abuse of the Wookie-folk. They might be warriors, but like Chewbacca, they are gentle. I was emotionally compromised and in doing so, I failed to complete my mission. I botched the trap and in return got a baster bolt between my shoulder blades. Yet from what General Organa told me, that was enough for the Rebels too free Kashyyk.”

“I do not believe you were compromised.” You turned your head to look at Solo who was staring at the lake. “I believe that it was your overall compassion for those being wrongfully contained that ultimately lead to the revolt. You hold onto your emotions, but you still listen and let them guide you, that is why the First Order could not find you nor detain you.”

“That has to be one of the wisest things you ever said.” You said softly in awe, the bark of laughter that escaped Solo made you grin.

“Don’t tell my Uncle, he will try to hear more of it.” You grinned at that.

“Bespin was the weirdest hit I ever had. A city amongst the clouds and almost no ground to land on.” Solo turned his head to look at you.

“You kicked the ruler out of his window and proceeded to scale your way back to your ship.” There was a chuckle to his voice.

“Don’t forget suplexing one of bodyguards into the main gates fountain.” You chuckled out.

“I had to hear Hux bitch about it for several days. Apparently, he knew the men stationed there.”

Silence fell between you two as you relaxed in the beauty of the scenery. You didn’t need the Force to tell Solo was more comfortable around you, not just with his words, but rather his overall stance. He had made sure you were alright during the whole ordeal at the me-bay plus he seemed to understand your love for fruit when he grabbed only the good and ripe ones.

“What was it like, in the First Order?” You blurted out, breaking the silence.

“Quiet.” His voice was distant, almost child-like.

“Because of how people viewed you, or because that’s how the higher ups wanted it?” You sat up and ignored the pain of your ribs flaring.

“Both.” The force-user continued to look away from you.

“I can see why but at the same time, too much quiet can draw even the sanest person mad.” You watched as his lips quirked upwards.

“Not all in the Order are sane.” He quipped back making you snicker.

Feeling pain in your ribs, you laid back down and gave a soft grunt as the impact jarred them. Solo turned his head over to you.

“How you can move with your injuries is a mystery to some.” He said while watching your hand put pressure on your right side.

“Let them keep wondering. I’ve had worse. When I got shot on my shoulder blade, the doctors thought I was going to be paralyzed. I guess sheer will and determination just shook them from their belief in medicine.” You grumbled, trying to ease the pain.

“Indeed, but you should rest, not push yourself even further.” You waved your left in the air as if you were agreeing.

“Your mother isn’t going to leave this planet unless it was absolutely necessary. She’s been super picky with what mission I have been going on and where. This past one, no one else could get close to this guy.” Once again you shifted to alleviate the pain.

“That’s because he is the distant cousin of Hux.” Solo said before standing.

“I had a feeling. Something wasn’t right with him.” That made the man turn to your direction.

“Your intuition is your strongest asset. You must be a terror to your targets if they live.” He walked over and offered his hand to you.

Not even hesitating, you slipped your much smaller hand into his as he helped you to your feel. His hands were pure heating, making your own tingle in an odd but comforting sense, something you would not be forgetting.

“Time for the doctor?” With a mere nudge, the Dark-Jedi nudged you to the path that leads to the compound.

“Sadly yes. Don’t try to stab him in his main artery, if you can help it.” Solo’s snark made you laugh, but groan as your body protested to the extra movement. “Stop hurting yourself.” He added.

With a swat to his arm, you let him guide you back.

“Lesson Number Four: Don’t cause more injury to the invalid.” You sassed at him, Solo merely chuckled before helping you over a fallen branch.


	8. Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eyes tell all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one week? Le Gasp! Enjoy!

_Chapter Eight: Eyes_

You were sitting on the exam table as the nurse changed your bandages. She had been worried about the slice under your right ear. The stitches were holding, despite seeping blood, but you knew that all head injuries bleed the most. What concerned you most was your ribs. They were indeed broken you knew they could take forever to heal with the use of a bacta tank.

“I’m afraid you will you be out for at least four weeks, Ms. L/N.” You sighed as you watched her clean the stitches on your shoulder.

“It could have been worse.” Solo said from his position against the wall.

“Oh I know, but four weeks of healing is a long time.” You watched as he bit back a smile. He knew what you were referring to. You had looked at the file which General Organa had given you when she assigned you to him. Solo had been stuck healing for about three weeks due to his injuries on Star Killer.

“I recommend limiting your movement so your ribs do not jar or cause you to be short of breath, ma’am.” You turned back to the nurse who was washing her hands in the sink to your left.

“Gotcha, can I have a copy of my file while you send one to the Commanders?” You gently shrugged into your jacket while watching her.

“Of course, do you want a prescription for any pain?” You signed the holopad she handed you.

“No thank you, if it becomes unbearable, I’ll come in for a check up.” The nurse nodded her head before stepping back. Solo appeared at your side to help you stand.

As you two walked out, you readjusted the pressure of the leather on your back. There was some bruising from when the guy had slammed you against the floor while you two were wrestling for the knife. You winced when you moved the bandages around your ribs.

“Stop that.” You scowled at Solo who scowled right back at you.

“It’s not like I want to keep jostling myself right now.” He glared at you as you fixed your shirt to properly cover your stomach.

“Then stop moving.” You shot him a mild glare before crossing your arms underneath your chest.

Before you could retort, Master Luke walked up to you two. He was wearing a soft smile and his eyes were kind, nothing new to you.

“Sorry to bother you two,” You bowed you your head while Solo merely crossed his arms. “Can I steal Ben from you for a little bit, Y/n?”

“Sure, be good and don’t force choke anyone.” Solo scowled at you as he followed after his uncle.

A soft smile graced your face before you turned in the opposite direction to head back to your room. Whatever reason as to why Luke needed his nephew, you didn’t mind. Instead you were going to sleep for a bit and hopefully some of your aches and pains would dull.

You woke up some time later to a knock on your door. Basically crawling your way to the door, you saw it was Rey accompanied by Finn. Rolling your eyes, you opened the dura-steel to see them both in mild shock over your hostile expression.

“Can I help you?” You didn’t mean to come off as rude, but they were indeed the ones who woke you up.

“Uh, your presence in needed in the Command Center?” Finn stated while watching how you had your hand on your hip above a knife that was strapped to your skin.

“Right, I’ll be there in a moment. Anything else?” You turned to Rey who was still staring at you.

“No…” You did not like her tone nor the look in her eyes.

“Good.” You closed the door in their faces so you could redress and fix your hair.

While you were not surprised Solo did not come to get you, it just annoyed the living hell out of you that they would send Rey and Finn. While you didn’t have any qualms with them, you just were not in the mood to handle their attitudes or their presumptions of your career choice or their thoughts over Solo. He was still in your charge and you were going to make damn sure they were not going to be assholes to him while you were around.

By the time you made it to the Command Center, you could see others filing in as well. Solo saw you and made his way over to your side. You could tell from the mere look in his eyes he knew about your mild burst of agitation earlier. Shaking your head, you leaned against the machinery behind you while you waited for the meeting to start. It was going to be a long day.

The meeting was about the incoming battle in a distant system. The whole compound was being put on red alert as an incase measure. This meant all pilots and ground troops were on call along with rotation shifts every four hours. However, for those who are under the title “medically indispose”, they were to be sent to secure areas of the base until the fighting ends.

You had spoken to the General about this, and she said that it would be wise for you to stay to your room. She was going to have Ben stay with you until the close was clear. That had left a red faced and annoyed Solo glaring at his mother while you merely rubbed your aching temples. The walk back to your living arrangement was an awkward silence, something you didn't know how to break.

You were face down on your bed. You didn’t even care if your ribs were screaming in pain, you were nursing a migraine that was currently kicking your ass. Sensing your soured mood, Solo kept to himself on the couch. He seemed to know better than to annoy you as you tried to sort out the mess that was your life. You had cleaned earlier so it was walkable and not dangerous to anyone who entered.

“Do you want something to eat?” He called over to your prone and lifeless body.

“Is it going to make me sick?” you mumbled from the pillowcase.

“As long as it’s not spicy or harsh, it shouldn’t.” You could hear the amusement laced in his voice.

“Knock yourself out.” You called over to him as you rolled onto your back to give reprieve to your bones.

You must have fallen asleep because a hand on your shoulder made you jolt up. Looking up, you saw that Solo was holding onto your wrist that was clutching the knife you had against his throat.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered as you released your hold on the blade.

He let you scoot back away from him in silence. He set down the food on your nightstand before sitting heavily at the foot of the bed.

“Luckily your reflexes are dulled from sleep.” You huffed out a laugh from between your shaking hands.

“I am not used to someone waking me.” You said after a minute of deep breathing.

Instead of responding, he handed you a plate of food which you accepted with a soft thanks. Despite the pounding in your skull, you ate the entire plate. The feeling of being full made you feel a little better despite everything.

“You know we might be in this red phase for a while right?” He turned to look at you.

“I’m aware.” You raised an eyebrow at his relaxed response.

“I’m not exactly a bucket of fun under pressure.” All you got was a headshake before Solo took the plate and went back to the couch.

Stupid wars, you thought as you just slumped onto your back onto the bed. You were going to end up crazy by the end of the red alert, either that or you’d end up dead.

From his position on the couch, Solo saw how mildly depressed you were. It sort of hurt him seeing you in such a state. There wasn’t really anything that could be done other than wait for the alert to be lifted. Yet what made everything worse, was the nagging feeling of the Scavenger’s presence. He had originally been sent to retrieve you earlier, but she and the FN-2187 had beaten him here. In return, they had caused you to be upset, something that disturbed him deeply. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

He watched as your eyes slowly slipped closed as sleep overcame you once more. He wasn’t too worried about the knife to his throat, if anything he had anticipated it. What he wasn’t expecting was the overwhelming feeling of regret and guilt that slammed into his senses. The look of fear that was alight in your eyes nearly made him fall to his knees. He didn’t ever want to see that look ever again. He would never see it again for as long as he lived.

Swearing to this vow, Solo stretched himself out on the couch and picked up one of your holo-books, this time something about history of Hoth and the calamities that were present on the planet. He would sleep when he knew you were in a better mindset.


	9. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I see you for who you are, not what you've done.

_**Chapter Nine: Human** _

__

The next morning arrived and you were completely engulfed in your blankets. You didn’t want to move nor did you want to leave the warmth that was surrounding you. A noise from your left made you peak your head out to see Solo sitting on the couch reading yet another of your holo-books.

“Did you sleep at all?” you called over to him. His only answer was a wave of his hand.

Seeing how he wasn’t in the mood to talk, you extracted yourself from your blankets will a hiss of pain and a wince. The trek to your closet didn’t take long, but as you walked by the couch, Solo lightly grabbed your hand, stilling you.

“Don’t push yourself. The alert is still going on.” You just nodded to his words before walking completely to your closet.

After a hot shower and applying the ointment the nurse gave you, you shuffled out of your bathroom and proceeded to go right back to sleep. The whole time Solo just sat on the couch reading. Taking his words seriously, you just curled under the blankets and proceeded to pass out.

You weren’t sure how long you were asleep, but you were woken up when something delicious passed under your nose.

“That’s almost cruel, Solo.” You muttered quietly.

“It’s effective when someone is comatose.” There was evident amusement in his voice.

“How is sleeping being the same as a coma?” He helped you to sit up.

“You didn’t even stir when they sounded the alarm for the pilots.” You accepted the plate of food with a soft sigh.

“I guess we had no choice but to join the fray.”

“Indeed. However, we have the upper-hand. They will not realize a separate fleet coming towards them.”

“You are full of optimism, who are you and what have you done with Solo?” He smirked at your surprise.

“Shocking I know, but my mother knows how to plan an ambush.” You returned his smirk before devouring the contents.

As you chewed on some vegetables, you let your mind wander. Ever since Solo had left the First Order on his own volition, the Empire was struggling to regain lands that they had originally captured. With the information from the dark knight, your own missions were once again thrown back into stabbing and killing versus the stealing and sabotaging you were previously sent on. You didn’t mind in the least, if anything, it means the end was near.

“What are you thinking?” Solo said from your left.

“The turn of events until now.” You offered him some of your fruit to which he took and ate.

“Are those good are bad?” The both of you knew that he could easily go inside your mind to see what you were thinking, but he was respecting your privacy.

“Depends on how you want to see it.” Biting into another piece of fruit you stared off into the space in front of you. “The only way I can describe it is that things are getting going to get a lot harder now. We have the upper-hand for the moment, but we need to keep that tactical advantage for as long as possible. I also know that if the General does what I think she might be doing, we will be base hopping shortly. This is not because she wants to, but because rather, it keeps the First Order from finding out our exact location and nuking us in one blow.” You finished your little speech with a shake of your head.

 “You seem to know my mother quite well.” Solo was raised his eyebrow as he fiddled with an uncut tropical fruit.

“Not really, my assumption is something that all tactical operators do at some point amidst a war.” You took his fruit and began to peel it with the knife he provided. “My only worry is where and when we will move. There is a lot to do in the time frame and an extensive amount of work to be done.”

“I agree.” He accepted the fruit as he leaned against your headboard, a faraway look on his face.

Sighing softly, you leaned back against the headboard. Bring your left leg upwards, you laced your fingers around your knee. You knew deep down something was going to happen, whether or not it was good, a storm was coming.

When you opened your eyes, you found yourself all bundled back in your blankets and not against the headboard. Looking over to the couch, you saw Solo was not there, nor was he in your bathroom. Sitting up, you untangled yourself before walking to the table in front of the couch. On it was the holo-book he had been reading “ _Times of War, The Clone Wars, and Its Legacies.”_ You personally hated the book, but it did have more insight than the war-stories you heard from the elders.

Knowing he was probably busy with something from his mother, you just went around and cleaned your room. You fully fixed the closet so that in case he wanted to store his own clothing, Solo had room to do so. You also fixed your bookcase to give room for more books and also organized it so that it was in alphabetical order.

“You should be resting.” Cursing under your breath, you spun around to see Master Luke standing at your door. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“My heart.” You whispered dramatically, but all you got was a sad smile. “What’s wrong?” You asked while waving the older man to your couch.

“Ben was sent off-world about two hours ago. I know he didn’t have time to say goodbye.” Luke saw your face go from mild agitation to annoyance.

“I’m not his keeper, Master Luke, if he needs to be elsewhere, he should go.” You didn’t mean to come off rude, but you were seriously getting annoyed with their constant need to dictate yours and Solo’s lives.

“No, but you are giving him a purpose since he came back.” That made you turn and look up at the Jedi.

“What do you mean?” You leaned against an armchair.

“I have not seen Ben this way in a long time. The darkness that has always been with him, it’s calmed down some.”

“And you are thinking it’s something that I’m doing?”

“Correct, L/n. For whatever reason, Ben relies on you to keep sane and in doing so, he’s finding the balance between the Light and Dark side.” Luke stroked his beard.

“If anything, and don’t take this negatively, I’m treating him like a human being. That’s a concept that everyone forgets. While I understand what he did, but at the same time, he was left alone in a world where no one understood what he was going through.” You sighed as you looked down at your scarred palm. “Master Luke, you of all people should understand him and his place. Your connection with your father, his grandfather, is greater than General Organa’s. He needs someone who gets that the Darkness in him isn’t a disease that needs to be cured, but rather something that is okay to accept.”

Luke sat back in mild shock. Never in his years did he experience a lashing so subtle yet so direct before. But she was correct, Ben needed someone to guide him.

“Unfortunately, that person is not me. You have a greater connection to the Dark Side than anyone, L/n.” You looked up into sad eyes. “Age doesn’t matter in this situation, you both have lived through harsh conditions and in doing so, you both have nurtured into a different being. I believe if Ben were to stay with you, he will be the man he should be.”

“That’s if he doesn’t skewer me with his saber. He has not seen me at my most horrible phase yet.” A soft smile appeared on the Old Jedi’s face.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll let you rest, but thank you, for being there for Ben when no one else has been.” You blushed as you watched Luke leave your room.

“He’s just a human, a gloomy, annoyingly clever, attractive, behemoth, human.” You muttered to no one as you walked back to your bed to pass out for the next several hours.


	10. Burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a fire you cannot put out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> I wanted to apologize for the lack of updates. I'm currently battling school and work, but I'd like to thank all of you for support while I've been away. So without further B.S. here's your chapter!

_**Chapter Ten: Burns** _

__

It was very early in the morning when you heard your door scrape open. It was a solid three days since Solo was sent on a search and destroy mission, and you actually sort of missed the grumpy man. Knowing that only two people would even try to enter your room at any time of day, made you sit up. There, trying to be quiet, was an exhausted-looking Solo.

“Holy shit.” You whispered while crawling out of your bed.

Practically running to his side, you draped his arm over your shoulder to escort him to your bed. As soon as he was seated, you knelt in front of him to look for any wounds. You could tell from how he was tensing his left shoulder, he either had muscle damage or was supporting an open wound.

“They are just scrapes, nothing too severe,” Solo said while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Regardless, take a shower, I’ll try to fix anything that isn’t too severe.” Even though he wanted to protest, he didn’t. He followed your direction and moved to the bathroom.

You went to your closet and pulled out your emergency kit. Inside had everything from bacta patches to simple bandages. You took the kit to your bed before sitting down. There was burning in your eyes, but that was fine to you. You didn’t mind being woken up like that if anything it made you feel better knowing that Solo was safe and he was relatively unharmed made up for the rude awakening.

Solo finally emerged from the bathroom, and he was shirtless. Not even caring about his half-naked status, you motioned for him to sit. You noticed that he was completely rigid and was keeping his body slightly curled forward. Your eyes were drawn to the bruises and several burns all on his back and shoulders.

“What the hell hit you?” You asked softly before popping open the case to take out the bacta patches.

“Hux decided to test out his combustible rounds.” You turned and looked at him.

“On you? I'm guessing this is splash damage?” You lightly cleaned the area with some alcohol before smoothing the patch out on his skin. He grunted at the impact.

“Each round that does not hit a target will explode and catch fire to anything around it.” You sucked a breath in when you saw the worst of the burn, a complete zig-zag across his shoulders and down his spine.

“Holy shit. I take it the Force does not help to put out fires?” He chuckled before shuddering at the cold cream you placed on his left shoulder.

“Not exactly. The only good thing is that there were no Knights which means Snoke is getting desperate and moving them around to the other territories.” Your fingers tingled when you applied more of the cream to his burned skin.

“If he is holding back the true aspect of his power, that means we are close to finding him. He had to have moved once you left, thus leaving only a few areas for us to find.” You stopped suddenly when you felt a chill run down your spine.

“You’re thinking something dark.” Solo met your eyes before turning back around.

“If Snoke is as smart as he thinks he is, he will be hiding somewhere where Master Luke won’t find. Somewhere dark and almost inhabitable.” A sigh left Ben as he finally turned fully to you.

“Yes, but for now, do not dwell on it. Leave this to my uncle and myself. You do not need to get even more involved than you are.” Your eyebrows scrunched together in minor agitation. “Don’t give me that look.” You scoffed before continuing to patch him up.

After another ten or so minutes, you got him to lay down on your bed while you cleaned up. You knew that in the morning that after he had some rest, he was going to have to go to the medbay. As you were washing your hands, you noticed that your own wounds didn’t sting as much, but they were there. Sighing softly, you walked back into your bedroom and you noticed that Solo was passed out. A soft smile appeared on your face before you walked over to cover him with a blanket. Not wanting to disturb him, you walked over to the couch where you laid down.

Your worrying over him caught up and making you sleepy even before you managed to get the blanket up to your chin. You didn’t want to admit it, but your feelings for the Knight were anything but friendly. You were definitely falling for him, despite you trying not to do so. Your eyes slipped close as you let your body relax.


	11. The Words Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew what to say, but it's hard to do so.

_Chapter Eleven: The Words Escape_

Getting the knight to even go to the med-bay was on par to getting a cat to go into a bathtub. You crossed your arms as you leaned against your door, blocking Solo from leaving. The said man was currently fuming from where he was sitting on your bed.

“I’m fine.” He stressed but you merely leveled him with a glare.

“I will knock your unconscious and drag you if need be.” He met your glare with one of his own before he let out a harsh sigh.

“Fine, but they will say it is unneeded.” A snort left you as you motioned for the man to the door.

The entire time you two walked, people kept a wide berth of you both since you two were emitting dark energy. While he could be pissy as he wants, your lack of medical equipment was not sufficient in fully treating him. The nurse, however, was extremely thrilled to see that her work was cut in half.

“You did well.” A blush graced your features as you rubbed the back of your neck.

“Thank you, ma’am.” You said softly before turning to Solo who was scowling darkly.

While he was getting all taped up, you decided to take a look at your data-pad which you had brought with. There wasn’t much, other than a few emails all concerning the various progress of missions or repairs on certain bases. However, you noticed that your file had finally come in. as you skimmed through it, you saw that the doctor, despite him being an asshole, did state that once your ribs were healed, you could return to duty, though limited.

“Something interesting?” You jerked your head up to see Solo already standing and fixing his attire to its normal place.

“Just my medical file.” He raised an eyebrow at you. “Do you want to report to your mother, or would you prefer to pass out for a few hours?” You had quickly changed the conversation; he didn’t need to know that you had some pelvic damage from your fight.

“My mother first, she will hunt me down if I don’t.” You bit off a smirk when he gave you a soft glare.

“You got it. After you, Master Knight.” The sigh he gave made you chuckle.

The meeting with his mother didn’t take long. She was quick and on point, for most of the meeting until she turned her sharp eyes to your form, leaning against the wall, head bowed as if napping.

“Are you alright?” You looked up and gave her a slight smile.

“Peachy, other than wanting back into the action.” She shook her head at you, but there was a quirk to her lips.

“You will soon, but for now, relax, both of you.” Solo rolled his eyes at his mother who crossed her arms over her chest. “Do not sass with me, Ben. You were hurt, badly. I want you to rest for a while before the next mission.”

You tuned out their argument as you focused on your feet. Maybe it was a Jedi/Sith thing or just having the Force in general, but they seemed to ignore their overall pain to go right back into the fight unless they were unconscious. You felt a slight stab of envy before you pushed that thought away. You were just as strong as any Force user, plus, you could easily do without the powers. A hand lightly wrapped around your bicep, pulling you to the door. Leia was still yelling at Ben who was dragging you both out the room.

“Can you not pick a fight with your mother?” You said as you let him lead you to the lake.

“While I appreciate her concern, I don’t need to be smothered.” You smiled as he dramatically flopped onto the grass.

“She wasn’t really smothering. If anything, she was more General than a mother.” You could feel his eyes as you stood next to him. “But she still is worried. I mean she knows at one point you’ll have to fight against the other Knights as well as the final confrontation with Snoke, so while she might not want to say it, she’s worried about you.”

“What about you?” You looked upwards at the sky at his question.

“That’s a loaded question, Solo.” You knew how to answer, but you didn’t know how he would react to what you were going to say.

“You say everything on your mind, yet a simple question makes your hesitant.” He wasn’t judging but he was rather intrigued.

“Fine.” You sighed while placing your hands into your pockets. “I am worried, not just for the fight to come, but rather how the world will handle the death of Snoke. I’d rather them not target someone I care just because that person made some questionable choices.” You felt a tightening in your throat.

“And what would you do if they did?” You didn’t turn to him, instead, you kept your gaze upwards to the sky.

“I would kill them.” A single arm wrapped around your stomach, making you gasp as you felt pure heat surround you.

“Yet you can’t say what you want to?” His voice was right next to your left ear.

“I care more than I should.” You whispered softly.

“That’s not what I mean.” The tightening in your throat grew.

“I…” You sighed lowering your head. “I care for you more than I care for myself.” Solo chuckled before wrapping his arms fully around you before he placed his forehead on your shoulder.

“Don’t hold back, Y/n.”

“Fuck you.” You muttered out.

“Possibly later.” He sassed back.

You wanted to say the words, but your brain and heart didn’t want to. Mainly because you didn’t want to ruin whatever kinship you two had. However, he seemed to understand that, which just made it even worse. Your heart was hurting as you let him hug you.


	12. Beginning of the Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two strong wills always clash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,  
> While the Last Jedi is out, I will not post spoilers nor will I place this story in the timeframe as TLJ. Thank you for reading and bearing with me though!

_**Chapter Twelve** _

__

Two days after you’re a not-so confession, you were back in the cockpit of your ship on your way to Naboo. General Leia wanted a counter-attack on releasing the former republic from the First Order and she needed you to start the first strike. In the seat next to you was Solo who was smirking. How he convinced his mother to join you, you didn’t know, but you were about ready to punch him.

Even though you weren’t supposed to be on duty, the General needed everyone on board in order to keep up the momentum. You have gotten the news yesterday and you were given full clearance as well as R2-D2. The little droid was beeping away behind you as he continued to do sweeps through your ship for any bugs you might have.

“Black Leader, I’m preparing for hyperspace.” You said into your mike as you leaned over Solo to hit a series of switches.

“Roger that, Shadow. Let us know when the party starts.” You smirked while jumping into space.

“Your relationship with the pilot is unexpected,” Solo responded once he saw you take off your headset.

“Dameron and I have been on a few missions together. We know each other’s style well.” You said dismissively.

Turning around, you looked at R2 who was beeping at the intricate data system that was your ship. The little droid was ecstatic over the complex code of your cloaking and weapons launch sequence.

“Thanks, R2. An old friend made that set so that in case someone was to hack into the system, it would look like a standard supply list.” The droid continued to beep his enthusiasm while you turned back to the computers in front of you.

Once again you ignored the smirk on Solo’s face while you logged the destination where you were to land as well as compiling auto-start and auto-pilot that would be activated from a digi-pad on your belt. A ghost feeling crept up your neck making you still.

“Stay out of my head, Solo. While I do not mind your presence, I need my mind clear.” The male chuckled while he leaned back in his chair.

“My uncle taught you well.” You shot him a side-eye before going back to your typing.

“The general wanted all the assassins to be aware of the Force in case you or the knights, even Snoke were to appear in the field.” Your fingers stopped as you let your mind go back to the past.

“The lessons are not fun; you are not the first to experience the pain of the having your mind invaded.” That broke you from your memories.

“They were not. The girl once tried to access my mind, after I suggested that you be set free from the cells. She was horrified from the scenes of death and gore that I sent her way.” You were not happy about saying this, but you wanted to be clear that your mind was your own.

While he did not say anything, you knew that he understood what you meant by having your own privacy. Even though you had let him in your head before, at the lake, you did not need him seeing the turmoil you were currently stewing in.

The flight to Naboo was quiet, even R2 was silent. You had check behind your seat multiple times to check if the little droid was in sleep mode, but instead, he was merely surfing through your ships database. You had heard from Master Luke that his father Anakin Skywalker had basically lived at Naboo despite being a Jedi. This mission was more important, not to you but rather Ben who had that connection with his grandfather.

“We will be met with resistance.” You hummed at Solo’s words before slowly easing out of hyperspace.

“I know. The main objective is getting to their power generator. It would be easier for you to go.”

“No, I can hold back more than you can, plus you are quicker at machines than I.”

“I disagree. This generator needs to be destroyed, not dismantled. Your saber would work better than my tools.” You met his eyes which were ablaze with defiance.

“For once, listen to me.” Your scoff made him growl.

“No, you are going to destroy the machine, I will draw the attention. Take R2 with you to help you get through the security fields. That is an order, Solo.”

You silently wished upon the stars that he would listen and complete the mission instead of defying you.


	13. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the connection which makes things strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap! I was so surprised at the amount of Kudos, comments, and bookmarks that I received since the last chapter. Thank you guys so much for liking the story! You guys are the drive that makes this story continue! I would also like to apologize for how the work paragraphs are little funky, my computer had a freak-out and I lost my writing program so I'm working off of google docs at the moment.

_**Chapter Thirteen: Together** _

__

Your ship landed on an empty landing pad which was surprising. Even though the First Order ruled and controlled Naboo, the trade between this planet and others was still booming. Shutting down the systems except for remote start, you turned to R2 who beeped at you.

“I’m depending on you, R2.” The little Astro-droid replied cheekily, making you smile.

Solo, on the other hand, was still grumpy with you not only pulling rank over him, but also the fact that you were going into a more dangerous situation than him. He was scowling and had a murderous expression on his face. Your heart was hurting from seeing him like this, but you needed to make sure that the generator, which protected the armory as well as powered the linked devices of the First Order was destroyed.

“Don’t take too long, there might not be a lot of people left if you do.” You said softly before walking to a side compartment where you could pull out some clothing, which would disguise you.

“Indeed.” Since your back was turned to him, he could not see the wince he gave.

Sensing the tension, R2 beeped, rather annoyed, at Solo who looked at the droid in confusion.

“R2!” You swung around shirt in your hand. “That is not nice!”

“I do not understand Astro.” Solo looked from you to the droid.

“He’s basically scolding you, which is highly not needed in this situation.” R2 tried to debate your claim which you easily shut down with a shake of your head.

“I still believe it would be better if I stayed,” Solo said from his chair, not looking at you.

“I know, but right now, time is of the essence. I can manage.” You quickly changed your shirt before closing the closet door.

Turning around, you adjusted your collar while not looking at Ben. The tension was not as static but it was still there.

“Just be safe, when you go. I don’t doubt that there will be troopers in the tunnels.” A hand lightly wrapped around your wrist, drawing you to him.

“What I will face is nothing compared to what you will deal with.” Looking into his eyes, you could see that the gold and green were more than his brown.

“I need to leave, wait for my signal before you go.” You whispered before detaching yourself from him.

Walking towards the ramp, you stopped for half a second before turning your head so you could see him.  
His eyes were swarming with conflict, something you hoped that would go away later.

“It would be better if you got angry, Ben. They wouldn’t know what to do if you did.” The smirk on his face, one that melts your insides, blossomed full force.

You hoped this wouldn’t be the last time that you will ever see that smirk, nor his face.

Placing the last bomb, you easily keyed in the code before moving to the outcove to your left. Taking a breath, you hit the detonate button. The explosion was loud and would easily attract all attention to yourself, giving time for Solo to get into the tunnels with R2 as his guide. The only thing that mattered at the moment, was you surviving the onslaught of people that were due to approach.

Pain was riddling your body as you waited for the smoke to clear. Just getting to this area, near the castle of the former monarchy, was a pain. There had been troopers on patrol that were walking around. Killing them was not hard, but trying to do it quietly, that was the tough part. The first one dropped easily, from a simple slice to his throat, but the second one, he put up more of a fight. He had taken a swipe at your head, which made you ram your entire side into the metal wall.

“Arrest her!” Turning around, four more troopers were running towards you.

Not even hesitating, you began to fire your weapon, easily taking down one of the troopers before ducking behind your outcove.

Solo stopped when he felt a slice of pain through his body. R2 also stopped as he beeped worriedly as the lack of movement.

“How much farther?” The dark knight asked.

R2 pulled up a map that showed they were only a third of the way there. Gritting his teeth, Solo began to sprint in the direction of the generator. If she was sporting an injury, that means that she successfully got their attention.

Taking a deep breath, you switched your gun for the larger blaster that you picked off of one of the troopers. Swinging out of your cover, you let loose on the trigger, easily downing two more troopers and nailing the last on the shoulder. Running over to them, you broke their comms before slamming the butt end of the blaster into the helmet of the wounded trooper, silencing him.

“Come on, Ben. Hurry up.” Hearing the movement of more troopers, you dashed back into your cover just as they began to open fire.

“R2, hurry up,” Ben mumbled as he waited for the droid to finish unlocking the door.

Another sting of pain got him, but this time on the shoulder. His uncle said that the bond between them wasn’t fully Force-driven, but something more personal and intimate. It had first started to appear when they met in the office, but according to his uncle, the first string was when she was advocating for him to be released from the cell.

She stood in front of all the commanders and his mother, with only her fire and spirit, declaring that he should be set free, but under supervision. While only his mother agreed, the others were skeptical because of his history and past. However, she still persisted saying that if he was to be remained locked up for his crimes, she should as well. That let loose a hellstorm that was easily silenced by his uncle who concurred that he be released but with someone to guide him from the Dark side.

His vow was being tested though. As much as he wished to be by your side and help you, he still needed to destroy the generator in order for the pilots to infiltrate the city. Finally hearing a hissing noise, Ben looked up to see the item that he needed was right in front of him, with about five people waiting for him. Anger and sorrow filled him as another splash of pain hit him, but in the back.

Rushing forward, lightsaber ignited, he began to hack wildly at those who were in his way.

Gulping in breaths, you felt your old injury now new, flare to life. The First Order was slowly approaching, and still no word from Ben or R2. Your time was running out. Pushing off the wall, you got ready to let loose what was left of your ammo into the encroaching enemies.

Before you could start firing, a beep from your wrist comm made you look down. There was one message, “done”. Grinning to yourself, you hit the comm on your ear.

“Black Leader, time to rain fireworks.” You shouted over the firing of plasma bullets that were raining at you.

“Roger that, Shadow. A separate squadron and some backup are on their way to you.” Dameron said as you could hear BB-8 chirp in the background.

“You got it.” Grabbing a cylinder behind your back, you bit off the cord and tossed it from behind your hiding spot.

Ben was force-sprinting through the tunnels. The fight was easier than he expected and his anger helped destroy not just the generator but all the computers. As he drew nearer, he could feel his connection to you get stronger. He was so close.

Sliding to the door, he felt the ground rumble before eerie silence. Waving his hand, the door opened to a pure battlefield. There were bodies and limbs all over the place, but none were you.

“Took your sweet time.” You said, leaning against the metal wall.

Ben never moved faster in his life than to catch you before you fell face forward.

“You’re hurt.” His fingers barely drifted over burns and gashes as he tried to assess how injured you were.

“Nothing more than usual. Maybe this time Naboo will be saved.” He nodded his head before easily picking you up.

“After this, I am confining you to your room.” The scoff you gave made him laugh.

Screeches of the Resistance ships filtered into the air. Both of you looked up to see dozens of pilots all blasting into the now electric free air, ready to start the real mission.

“There you two are!” Running towards you was Master Luke, Rey, and Finn.

“We need to leave, now!” There was no argument from either you or Ben as you moved from the area.

“I’m sorry to tell you, but your ship was blown up.” You merely sighed.

“It’s alright, I guess. It’s a petty revenge for taking out half a squadron.” You said while trying to cover your face from shrapnel.

“We have the Falcon though. Leia wants you both off the planet, we’ll hitch a ride elsewhere.” Both you and Ben shared a look.

Finally getting to the fabled ship, Ben lightly put you into the co-pilot seat as he readied to take off. The others were going to help the ground troops infiltrate the city before the rest of the planet. Hearing a series of clicks, you showed him which buttons that started the ship.

“Chewie showed me how to operate her in case I needed too.” You whispered while falling back into the chair.

“Do not go to sleep. You will not wake up.” Your eyes met his.

“I won’t if you hurry up that is.” Hearing your snark, the smile he gave, made you flush.

“Yes, ma’am.” Ben easily took off no problem before punching it into lightspeed.

Despite the rocky beginning, your mission was a success, you were told after waking in the medbay. Not only was Naboo once again free, but the people of Naboo even assisted in the attack. Looking to your left, you saw Solo, no Ben, fast asleep in the chair. He had not moved since you were admitted, which caused a few chuckles from both the General and Master Luke.

Your connection with him, regardless what it was called, was what saved you. He had felt your life force slowly dissipating which prompted R2 to give him step by step instructions on how to keep you alive. A soft smile appeared on your face as you felt sleep bring you back under. You would kill anyone who even tried to rip the dark knight from you, even if it was his own family.


	14. Left Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knowing there is a connection and acting on the connection is what binds two people.

_Chapter Fourteen: Left Unsaid_

The next time you woke up, you were greeted by General Organa's presence. Lifting your non-injured hand, you rubbed your eye, bringing the older woman's attention to you.

"Good afternoon, dear." Her smile was warm and caring.

"Afternoon, ma'am." Looking around, you noticed that you had fewer wires in your body than you had previously.

"It's alright, you're officially out of critical state. You just need to rest for a while." Turning back to the woman, you saw she looked tired.

"Oh, thank you. Have you rested at all, ma'am?" Your question startled her.

"You never miss a beat, Y/N," Her smile turned slightly sad. "I have, but not enough. While Naboo has been liberated, we had to jump planets, yet again." Your heart rate kicked up a notch, making the machine beep rapidly. "No one was seriously hurt, and you were unconscious during the entire time."

Ignoring every wire in your body, you sat straight up. There were twinges of pain, but you were adamant about leaving your bed.

"Don't try it. The doctor gave me an anesthetic in case you tried to leave." Turning back to the general, you noticed that she had the same look that Ben sometimes had, the look of no fucks given.

"I should be out helping, not laying here, ma'am." You grunted out as you slowly began to pull needles out of your arm.

"No. You are going to stay here and rest, regardless how you feel. You did your part, let us do ours." Whipping your head to the door, you sent Ben a scathing look.

"This isn't open for discussion, Solo." He merely shrugged before waving his hand.

Each needle you had taken out, easily went back into your skin. Even though there were pinches where the metal went in, you continued to glare at him.

"You're right, it isn't. Right now we are in the midst of another operation, not an undercover one, like the ones that you are used to, Y/n." Your attention turned back to Leia who raised an eyebrow at the annoyed look on your face. "You are going to remain here until you are released and not by intimidation either."

Your scoff echoed as you simply flopped over and put your back to them both. This clearly meant you were done with talking and wanted to be alone. While you heard footsteps leaving, the hairs on the back of your neck prickled upward, letting you know someone was watching you.

"Please go away, Solo." You said grumpily.

"You do realize that you were dying." It wasn't a question, but a matter of fact statement laced with hurt.

"I'm aware. Yet like I said, if it happens, at least I know I did something with my life." You still didn't turn around to face him even though you wanted to comfort him.

"You are too calm about the prospect of losing your own life." Rolling your eyes, you waved your needle-connected arm at him.

"We've had this conversation before, Ben. You know where I stand."

"You would accept death, even if it meant leaving something unsaid." You knew what he was talking about. The moment you two had at the lake, you knew that if you had died, that you would leave him alone.

"I'm not good at expressing my feelings, it's easier if I don't." A warm hand suddenly appeared on your arm, startling you.

"Regardless, you cannot leave, not yet." The softness of his tone, it made your heartache.

"I can't exactly help that when I'm getting shot and stabbed at," you responded grumpily.

Rolling his eyes, Ben sat in the chair his mother had been in. Looking at your back, he just lightly placed his head against your ribs. Biting back a sigh, you moved your arm so you could place your hand through his hair.

Sleep was tugging you again, surprisingly you welcomed its embrace. Ben, knowing you were starting to drift off, moved so he was more securely against your ribs. Together you both drifted off to sleep despite minor argument you two had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy the major slow burn between these two!


	15. Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The littlest things relieve a burden.

_Chapter Fifteen: Innocence_  

A soft groan escaped your lips as you felt something light touch your cheek. Squinting your eyes, you saw Ben looking at you with worry.

“What happened now?” You mumbled softly.

“Nothing, but your heart rate dropped low enough to alarm the doctors.” Using his arm, you moved to an upright position, a grunt of pain left you.

“Maybe because I was asleep?” Your moody reply made the dark knight roll his eyes.

“More like it nearly stopped twice.” Huffing out a sigh, you wiggled around until you managed to get an annoying wire from digging into your lower back.

“You all are worried about nothing. It’ll take more than a few plasma shots to kill me.” Rubbing your eyes, you felt your heart rate suddenly spike, leaving you breathless.

Solo merely sighed before tucking the covers around your body. You knew he was seeing through your bluff, and you also knew that he was just giving you time to get your thoughts under control.

“I’m sorry.” That drew his attention to you.

“You have nothing to ask for forgiveness about.” He was clearly confused by your statement.

“Shut it and let me explain.” You gritted out as you turned your eyes upward to the ceiling. “I’m sorry for nearly leaving you without telling that I do feel something for you. I’m still confused about what I am experiencing, mainly because I swore off all romantic notions until either I died or this war was over. I’m not emotionally constipated, not like half the other fucks on this base, but I know when emotions can mean life or death. When the General put me as your ‘teacher’ or whatever, I thought it was just me trying to reintroduce you into the world of where people give a shit about others, but I realize now that it’s more than that. She knew or rather knows that we were going to be drawn together regardless if we were to be put into this situation or not. I won’t claim I know shit about the Force or why it does the dumb shit it does, but I do know that it purposefully dumped you into my life for a reason.”

Finally saying what has been bugging you since before your mission on Naboo, your heart rate, according to the machine was beating nearly three times faster than earlier. You refused to look at Solo, you felt his hand lightly drag over your own.

“That is the most you’ve said to me.” A laugh followed by a series of coughs escaped you, causing your chest to seize in spasms.

“Stars above, if plasma bolts can’t kill me, you will with innocent statements.” You gritted out as you struggled to breathe.

A nurse entered the room and gave Ben a dark look. You turned your attention to her and leveled her with a look of your own.

“Please do not agitate her, she is still healing, Commander.” The tone she gave instantly fills you with fury.

“Get lost, Pippi Long-Stockings.” Solo turned his head to regard you with a look of pure amusement as the nurse visibly looked offended. “My lungs don’t like breathing the stale air of bitch this early in the morning.”

You watched as she scampered out of the room close to tears. A cough behind his hand, Ben tried his best not to laugh.

“That I will not apologize for. Stupid twat.”

“Try not to eviscerate anyone with your words. The war is still far from over.” You finally turned to look at him.

“That I can’t promise. People deserve to be cut down when they act like that. If she had been a bit nicer, I wouldn’t have been that hostile.” He quirked an eyebrow. “Maybe.”

“I see.” He said before going back to tracing your hand. “As you said, the Force works on its own agenda. It does what it does. As for us, we were meant to meet, either as we are now or at least something similar to what he was joined to as now.” His brown eyes turned into a molten chocolate color making you flush at the intensity of them.

“Yea, well, if it could stop for about three days, that’d be great. I’d like to be able to move on my own and not be connected to a bunch of machines.” Your sass made him smile gently.

“We’ll see. Go back to sleep, I doubt that anyone will bother you for a long time.” You smirked before accepting his help and lying back on your back.

Turning your head away from him, you fell back asleep but better. Something soft met the skin of your hand but you were too far gone into the sleep realm to realize that Ben had kissed the scraped skin off your knuckles.


End file.
